Reformed view on dating

When it comes to dating, God’s wisdom is desperately needed.

There are so many issues which aren’t explicitly addressed by Scripture, and therefore require wisdom.

Baylor University professor of theology Roger Olson, author of , is a bit surprised that the site, which hosts nearly 800 members and has borne 37 reported marriages, is catching on.

"It's an example of a larger dissonance between Calvinist theology and Calvinist practice,"Olson said.

A guy must ask a girl’s dad first, then the guy must ask the girl, then the girl must say yes, then the couple can start seeing each other IN GROUPS (! If things go well for the first eight months or so, the couple may or may not be allowed to spend semi-unsupervised time together and possibly even (GASP! Once the young man has firmly established himself financially and is sufficiently godly, he can ask the girl to marry him. Both families, as well as lots of church members, must be involved in the entire process, from start to finish. There are so many variables in each relationship: the age of the couple, the spiritual maturity of the couple, whether or not both sets of parents are believers, how long the guy and girl have been a Christian, the ethnicity of the couple, and on and on.

When a woman gives her heart away to a man outside of a marriage commitment, the "boyfriend" is placed in the position of exercising unbiblical authority over the woman that is reserved for the woman's prime, earthly authority (typically her father) and is one day to be transferred to the woman's husband.By day, firefighter Dean Scott puts out flames in rural western Washington.By night, he tries to kindle them between Reformed singles around the country.A single woman is to submit to her father, not her "boyfriend." Giving one's heart away without a marriage commitment not only runs contrary to what the Bible teaches regarding guarding one's heart, it is contrary to what the Bible teaches about parental authority (and the proper transfer of that authority). There is no place to say "I love you" in a dating relationship.What is it to have a commitment to another that can be broken for any reason? If dating includes considering one for marriage, then obviously Christians may not date non-Christians because Christians may not consider marrying non-Christians any more than a man may consider marrying another man. If dating does not include considering one for marriage, then what is the Christian's purpose in dating? Those words mean commitment; yet when dating, the commitment only goes as far as the "feeling." What does it mean to say "I love you" if you may break up tomorrow because you found someone better?